Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Your hands that shape the world are holding me...



I heard this song awhile ago and I love it.  It talks of the faithfulness of God amidst the unsteady happenings in life.  I know that I haven't blogged in a long time and a lot has happened so I guess it's about time.  As of a couple months ago my world was a little shaky in the sense that I had no idea what was about to unfold, but I knew something was about to happen.  I like to call it Holy anticipation because instead of feeling anxious there always seems to be a sense of excitement for what God has in store for me. Things seem to have fallen into place and I'm pretty much amazed everyday I  wake up and realize my life is not a dream.  

Fade to two months ago:  applying for jobs daily, hearing nothing back, feeling rejected and unsure about the prospects, getting anxious and restless, missing friends and desiring fellowship of some sort, trying to live out Psalm 31:14,15 daily:
"But I am trusting you, Oh Lord, saying 'You are my God!' My future is in Your hands."

It's easy to look back and say "God was faithful", but it is much more difficult to see that in the process.  Even though I'm constantly looking back and seeing how I truly never leave His hands I still seem to find myself caught in a state of frustration as I wait for God's plan to unfold.  Instead I need to begin to see that the plan does not just happen in the culmination, but rather the plan is unfolding all along...the plan is the process not just the end result.  

Currently I have a wonderful boyfriend and that alone is a prime example of God's perfect timing.  I have TWO jobs and I have a car.  My life does not feel shaky or unsteady, but it's not because of what I have, but who I trust.  If you took away my family, my boyfriend, my jobs and my car I would hope that I could still say that my life was not unsteady because I know who is holding me.  There is a peaceful, easy feeling that I have, but not because of my current circumstances...God has been teaching me through various adventures in my life that He truly does have the whole world in His hands and that includes me.  What is there to worry about when worrying doesn't get me any closer to the answers I want?  Instead Psalm 31:14,15 shall be my daily commitment... after all, my future is in His hands and who better to hold it than the One who shaped the wonderful world we live in.

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