Africa

I'm reading a book in preparation for my trip to Ethiopia called The Invisible Cure: WHY WE ARE LOSING THE FIGHT AGAINST AIDS IN AFRICA by Helen Epstein.  It's been a really awesome read. It's a true story about this woman who leaves her job to go to Uganda and search for a vaccine for AIDS.  Her struggles are numerous, but her focus is amazing despite them.  At one point in the book, after her project is put on hold in order for her samples to be tested at her home lab in the states she has a conversation with a colleague that is supposed to take the samples where they need to be tested.  He promises to do this and knows that her project rides on this shipment.  Well, the samples never made it where they needed to go.  Helen writes:

"Everyone seems to know what Africa needs, but sometimes I think our minds are not really on it.  Most of us see only Africa's contours, and we use them to map out problems of our own.  Africa is a career move, an adventure, an experiment.  It fades into an idea."

One thing I love is that we all have different desires in our hearts.  We do not all feel called to carry the same burdens.  Often times when we feel burdened for something we can't understand why not everyone feels the same way, why it fades into an idea instead of a life calling.  Just as Helen realized, I am realizing that when you have a burden for something so strongly all you can do is GO!  You have to or else there is a part of you that is not living.  This is how I feel about my opportunity to go to Ethiopia.  I was talking to my roommate last night and I told her that I've always had a dream to go to Africa, but I just never thought I would.  She asked me why and I said "I don't think I had enough faith".  That's the truth. I didn't think I'd have enough faith to jump out and WITNESS what has burdened my heart for so long because then I CAN'T SAY I DON'T KNOW!  Forever I will KNOW FIRST HAND what suffering looks like there and then I will HAVE TO DO SOMETHING!  This whole experience of saying "yes" to going on this trip has made part of me come alive in a way I never knew possible. I never knew part of me was not living until this experience and now I don't know what it would be like to go back...all I know is that I can't!  Whatever is to come of this amazing journey, whether it be to move there for an extended period of time or whether it be to go back for a short term mission trip again, I know this will not be the last time I GO!  

I don't expect others to feel the same way, just as Helen finds out in her book.  We are all made differently, with different passions.  All I know is that I am so thankful for all the support I have from family and friends because while Helen feels alone doing what she's doing I feel as though all of you are GOING WITH ME!  Where this will lead, I don't know, but I know who does and that's enough for me!